What if one day all the magical moments you shared turned to all bitterness and hurt? What will you do if the person you have given your all has turned his back from you and he is now a total stranger? How strong you are to face the fact that the man you are married to in 10 years is packing his things, leaving you for another woman? What will be your life like when the person you truly loved, the person whom you depended on, trusted, given your all, one and only person you would want to be with forever is now signing off from the relationship? Can you feel the pain?
Just the idea of these will make anyone curl its fingers to firm fist, would scream No!!!. mine was like a bucket full of freezing water and ice poured on me or a boiling water spilled to my lap. The pain was unsurmountable. Its something you don’t know how to bear, to add the injury, its tremendously difficult to start all over again. The pain will snag you in a per second basis. The hurt will drown you, take you to the rock bottom of the deepest seas. But you have to sweep it up and do what is due for now, you have to let go of that hair strand of hope and free yourself from the cage of pain and desperation. Its a total brokeness, I know! and how will you be able to fix yourself after all of these? Not easy!
Let me remind you that healing your brokeness is never easy and snappy, you have to go through the lovely process of crying all night, wanting to beg, initiating the communication and worst, bargaining even to the extent of punishing, putting yourself too low and forgetting about self-respect, but don’t do it! Its always fine to squall, to scream to question why, but don’t keep pushing yourself to the same pit.
As you experience the tearing pain of cheating, and have the taste of rejection’s bitterness. As you closely suffer the ail of letting go. As you go through this painful side of being broken, you will be be able to unlish the strength you never thought you have. With all of these that passed, you could see more beautiful details of your existense. You will learn how to take good care of yourself, you will learn that letting go is the best way to realize how worthy you are of experiencing a better way of life. Life after brokeness is never a guarantee that hurt won’t be there anymore, but, as a good friend ones said, Nobody could ever hurt you the same way again, not because you are numbed, but because you understood your strength, your worth and from the pain you became wiser.
You have been hurt, face it! embrace the pain, you have fought hard and no matter how you fix things, it won’t conceal the fact that you are being scarred, disrespected and abandoned and that is the indication of you drawing the line of “enough”. After all, our faithful God has promised that (John 14:27)” I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart”.
Choose to place your brokeness and peace in Him. Heal your brokeness with his promises and love. Draw your strength from His wounds. There is a subliminal message of that brokeness, discover it. The hope of fixing the broken pieces of the relationship will always be there, but choose to heal your brokeness first. Be the first to pick up the broken pieces of you, be that one person who will first value you.
Let me leave you this simple truth; when you truly know who you are, nothing can separate you from yourself and no one could take away the respect and worth you have imposed within you. I vouch that life after brokeness will turn to a kaleidoscope story that will inspire others. After all, brokeness is a gift, you just have to look at the brilliant, colourful side of it.
Lovely woman, you have have suffered so much but still manage to put the broken pieces of you back and take the leap of faith sharing your story, that will also help others cope up from the dungeons of brokeness like we all did, may we all live well.
-A Love from Reenah